Introduction: Getting back together after a breakup. Getting back with your ex shouldn’t be a sudden decision. After all, your relationship finished for a reason. However, you can still get back with your ex and build a healthy relationship.
Many couples who call it quits are getting back together. A 2013 study found that more than one-third of cohabiting couples and one-fifth of married couples have experienced a breakup and gotten back together.
Give this thing another shot. If you and your ex want to give your relationship another shot, know that you will have to put in extra effort and new steps to try to make it work this time. If you’ve broken up with someone and have second thoughts, it’s time to get out and get them back. If you’re unsure how to do it, follow the tips to help you get back together, even if your breakup was painful.
Here are some things you should do for a healthy relationship after getting back together.
Learn to forgive.
Forgiveness is the most effective tool you can have as a person. Look at the entire relationship and try to look at it from the outside, seeing what happened. Things went wrong. Things were said that cannot be carried back. And maybe that’s why it was such a painful breakup.
Once you can see the details of the entire relationship, you need to work hard on forgiving your partner. Instead, forgive yourself. It was the first time around. Only when you genuinely do this will you be able to move on from your ex and start a new chapter together as you work through the flaws around you.
Respect your partner’s point of view.
In relationships, especially after a breakup, making room for both perspectives is essential. This means you must move away from thinking that one person is right and the other is wrong.
This will allow both partners to communicate their feelings healthily in a safe space. Be an active listener so you can understand where your partner is coming from and vice versa.
Communicate and take it slow.
Communication is everything, and the reason for the breakup was so wrong that a rift developed that destroyed trust and resulted in miscommunication. It can be as easy as getting the wrong end of the stick. Now is your chance to improve. Be honest, be kind, and be understanding. Take it slow and see where your conversation leads you and if any progress is made before making rash decisions.
Encounter out how to make the most of this time.
You are taking the time to figure out how the second time could be better than the first. You will have to actively work to change old patterns to ensure that getting back together is smooth and you end up in a healthy partnership.
For example, you should consider the following:
• How would you talk and communicate differently?
• How do you talk things out in a healthy way?
• How do you avoid slipping back into your old habits?
• How can you support each other differently?
• How can you build a safe relationship?
Reach out and see where they stand.
Once you’ve worked yourself out and are clear on what to do, the next step is to figure out where they stand. Remember that they can be hurt, too, so you must approach it intelligently so that it doesn’t overwhelm them. You can ask their friends and family how they’re doing and try checking in to have a chat. Only meet if you think they’ll be receptive to the idea.
Get interested in both yourself and your partner’s emotions.
It’s essential to make time for self-reflection. You should work on comprehending what is happening internally — including dealing with emotions you may be enticed to avoid. This type of self-reflection takes intentional steps. Try sitting or going for a walk independently. Take deep breaths, calm inwardly, and tune into what you see. A mindfulness app can create the ability to do this regularly.
Moreover, it is imperative to understand yourself and your partner. Creating an understanding of others can be as essential as developing self-awareness. Everyone participates in the world through different lenses.
List the qualities you both want in your relationship.
To make this time more successful, it can help to sit down and decide what qualities you both hope for in a relationship, such as fun and passion, and then build on those qualities for both of you.
It’s not about forcing your partner to be someone they’re not – it’s about deciding what you want your partnership to look like ideally, and both of you there. You should also recognize that there will likely be some differences in the features you choose and discuss how you will compromise to deal with this.
For example, if a healthy lifestyle is something you value and want to incorporate into your relationship, but your partner isn’t going to the gym or eating a very healthy diet, even you can find a middle ground.
Get guidance.
If you don’t know what to do or how to think about the situation, but you want to get back with your ex, you can always ask for help. Talk to other people who have had a bad breakup and gotten back together. Consider seeing a couple’s therapist to get a professional perspective on the matter. And talk to your mutual friends about what went wrong and what they think you can do to make things right.
Conclusion: Getting back together after a breakup
Be patient when you’re getting back with your ex. Things likely won’t pick up where they left off, and the relationship will need some TLC to thrive. Remember that you and your partner are a team, and you can change the relationship positively if you decide to continue the relationship. If you have trouble working out the kinks on your own, seeing a couples therapist can be very helpful in providing new insight into the relationship and tips for moving forward.
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